Thursday, January 27, 2011

An open secret

God does not burden a soul beyond capacity. Each will enjoy what (good) he earns, as indeed each will suffer from (the wrong) he does.
 2010. a 'was' year. a year that taught me about life. the ups and downs has taught me to open these little eyes, to see the world by heart. The moment I stepped foot off of the dreadfully long flight from Kuala Lumpur to Brisbane, Autralia, I wanted to be the BEST of me. Of course! At first, yes! I was sooo sooo excited about everything; everything!! I wanted to live life to the fullest, enjoying my time here while completing a bunch of lists of 'what to do'. This and that. Never! Never ending list. I enjoyed for being who I am.

Punish us not, O Lord, if we fail to remember or lapse into error.

This changed me inside and outside. This 'fatamorgana' led me nowhere. Deep down in my heart, it was empty. Thus, to fill the emptiness, i worked harder as a part time worker buying all 'all-known fancy' clothes, shopping like there was no tomorrow, and YET still it was empty inside.  

Burden us not, O Lord, with a burden as You did those before us. Impose not upon us a burden, O Lord, we cannot carry. 

Slowly, the joy was taken one by one, starting from my father's operation. I was OK on the outside but inside I was struggled not to be sad. And one by one came without invitation which i prefer to keep them for my own story collections: 
Slowly Allah led me to His guidance. TESTed and been TESTed again. Until I lost, and searching for source of energy; hedonistic food for the soul; But FAILED! I wasn't into it. Thank GOD! Alhamdulillah. and that I chose to become a loner and I started to think a lot, This and that. Every morning, I took opportunity to go out for a walk, not to jog, but the main purpose was to learn about creations. Think and think.

This came into to my mind: Why deny the second creation, while the first creation is here to see?? 

Overlook our trespasses and forgive us, and have mercy upon us;

I. started . to. search. the. new. me. 

Preparing. for. the. second. creation: The here after!

And that was first I realised that we are here for a purpose; we are created for a purpose, not to live the life for the fullest but to worship The Almighty to the fullest. The life that we live in, wasn't make for nothing, it is a test from Allah The Almighty. 

Currently is making a baby step to erase all the jahiliyyah inside me. I wanna throw it away until i could not even smell it. InsyaAllah~

And this needs patience, time, and hard will. InsyaAllah. 

You are our Lord and Master, help us against the clan of unbelievers
(Al Baqarah: 286)

Surely by remembering Allah that heart is in peace (13:28)... Amin~, Nadia Mustafa


No comments:

Post a Comment